Evangelist to rebuild Tower of Babel
Evangelist to rebuild Tower of Babel
EAP: Fresh from his efforts of erecting the Super Tsunami Encounter and the Miracles Museum evangelist Ken Spam, founder of the "Answers in Tea Leaves" web site and formerly of the "Creative Science Foundation" has now announced his next big project as the rebuilding the famous Tower of Babel which he believes was responsible for the proliferation of the many different languages seen in the world today. Linguistic experts at the ATL web site anticipate a new flowering of lingual evolution following the building of the tower.
According to Ken when God acts big life responds and shapes up quickly. "Just look at the extremely rapid evolution of kinds into a multitude of families, genera and species following the Noahian flood. So too we expect a 100 or 1000 fold increase in the number of languages following the Tower of Babel 2. The confusion caused will surely help to initiate the second coming and the tribulation and this chaos can only be a good thing". Asked where the tower will be built Ken said on the old historic site of Babylon. "Some of the problems we are likely to face", Ken said, "included security and political stability of the region but we are hopeful that the US military will provide this. The US government will thereby be underwriting the project indirectly just as local governments have underwritten other ATL mega projects. It is only right, especially as all government officials will be dismissed once our LORD and savior assumes his seat of power.
However US military officials are not so sure as such a big project will attract the attention of terrorists like a beacon to moths. In addition some Muslims have claimed the Tower of Babel as their own and want it built in Egypt where the Koran places it. ISIS has vowed to target a Tower of Babel built on the site of Babylon with satellites. Air traffic controllers have also expressed concerns for air safety. Owners of low earth satellites are worried about the danger which would be posed to their satellites. None of this frays Ken or the ATL because the tower must be tall enough to be viewed from all the world.
Scientists have scoffed at the suggestion that the tower could ever be viewed from ALL the world but Ken has an answer and a solution provided by tea leaves. Critics have suggested that maybe some other leaves have provided inspiration. Whatever may be Ken Spam's deficiencies at least Ken is not a flat earther.
According to Ken "We know the Venusian atmosphere is so thick that in theory light can be refracted around the planet. So all we need on a spherical earth would be a thicker atmosphere so that the Tower of Babel can be seen from all around the world". Asked about how to thicken the atmosphere Ken answered; "the ATL can provide all the hot air needed for the project". Satellite owners are alarmed at the possible atmospheric drag which could compromise the integrity of satellite orbits.
In response to this project and the other projects many sceptics have countered with a variation of the "Spam Spam Spam" number of Monty Python featuring Ken and other evangelists in viking helmets.
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Evil Atheist Press 2018
EAP: Fresh from his efforts of erecting the Super Tsunami Encounter and the Miracles Museum evangelist Ken Spam, founder of the "Answers in Tea Leaves" web site and formerly of the "Creative Science Foundation" has now announced his next big project as the rebuilding the famous Tower of Babel which he believes was responsible for the proliferation of the many different languages seen in the world today. Linguistic experts at the ATL web site anticipate a new flowering of lingual evolution following the building of the tower.
According to Ken when God acts big life responds and shapes up quickly. "Just look at the extremely rapid evolution of kinds into a multitude of families, genera and species following the Noahian flood. So too we expect a 100 or 1000 fold increase in the number of languages following the Tower of Babel 2. The confusion caused will surely help to initiate the second coming and the tribulation and this chaos can only be a good thing". Asked where the tower will be built Ken said on the old historic site of Babylon. "Some of the problems we are likely to face", Ken said, "included security and political stability of the region but we are hopeful that the US military will provide this. The US government will thereby be underwriting the project indirectly just as local governments have underwritten other ATL mega projects. It is only right, especially as all government officials will be dismissed once our LORD and savior assumes his seat of power.
However US military officials are not so sure as such a big project will attract the attention of terrorists like a beacon to moths. In addition some Muslims have claimed the Tower of Babel as their own and want it built in Egypt where the Koran places it. ISIS has vowed to target a Tower of Babel built on the site of Babylon with satellites. Air traffic controllers have also expressed concerns for air safety. Owners of low earth satellites are worried about the danger which would be posed to their satellites. None of this frays Ken or the ATL because the tower must be tall enough to be viewed from all the world.
Scientists have scoffed at the suggestion that the tower could ever be viewed from ALL the world but Ken has an answer and a solution provided by tea leaves. Critics have suggested that maybe some other leaves have provided inspiration. Whatever may be Ken Spam's deficiencies at least Ken is not a flat earther.
According to Ken "We know the Venusian atmosphere is so thick that in theory light can be refracted around the planet. So all we need on a spherical earth would be a thicker atmosphere so that the Tower of Babel can be seen from all around the world". Asked about how to thicken the atmosphere Ken answered; "the ATL can provide all the hot air needed for the project". Satellite owners are alarmed at the possible atmospheric drag which could compromise the integrity of satellite orbits.
In response to this project and the other projects many sceptics have countered with a variation of the "Spam Spam Spam" number of Monty Python featuring Ken and other evangelists in viking helmets.
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Evil Atheist Press 2018
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