Post Mill Pre Trib Congregation Confused By Prank Rapture
Post Mill Pre Trib Congregation Confused By Prank Rapture
EAP: Members of a post millennial pre tribulationist evangelical church in Beaufort Street Mt Lawley, a suburb of Perth were pwned by some pranksters of a proactive Perth sceptic society based in Mt Lawley. The evangelical church had been converted from a former brothel after cleaning and destaining before a dedication of the building to the Lord Jesus Christ.
The post mill pre trib church elders had prophesied the end of the world at exactly 11.00 am last Tuesday with a rapture. All the church members had taken the day off work or school to pray and worship. Singing and speaking in tongues was clearly audible on Beaufort Street. The group has had serious disagreements with a nearby post millennial post tribulation church in Central Avenue Mt Lawley, almost around the corner. Last year members of the rival evangelical churches ended up exchanging punches over the differences between pre and post tribulation doctrines in a failed attempt at fellowship between the 2 congregations.
The Mt Lawley Sceptic Society took a different strategy to confronting this, the latest in a series of "end of the world" prophesies", none successful, not with logic but with a prank. On the day the sceptics spread out used clothing outside the church on the footpath to make it look like they had been passed over in the rapture. 2 members then waited outside. One, Paul, an extraordinarily tall man, dress in a white angelic outfit with concealed LED lights emitting a white glow. His part was to speak in "tongues". His partner, John, dressed in a white suit as a lessor angel who would "translate" Paul. A van with a very large and very loud speaker blasted out heavenly trumpet sounds. At 11.00 am the "trumpets" sounded drawing the congregation members outside to investigate as the van withdrew to a descrete distance.
The very tall "angel" Paul made a lot of gibberish noises which was "translated" by John as "All who have been saved have been raised up leaving their clothes behind for they shall be dressed by our father in Heaven. Have no hope for yours is a frightening future of God ordained disasters. None of your congregation have been raised." Shaking and violent tears overtook the unlucky congregation instantly. One elder asked the "angels" "So we have to share the tribulation with the post trib church?".
"Grulkes hoeff gyouj wizpo tuster", replied Paul, "translated" by John as "No, for they have been raised" to the profound shock of church members, stunned like mallets. One sceptic told EAP "I sort of felt sorry for the congregation members but at least they may not be door knocking quite as frenquently".
EAP has learnt on the grape vine that several members of the congregation have lost their jobs for not reporting for work and some others have gone into therapy. The disgarded clothes have all been donated to charity.
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Evil Atheist Press
EAP: Members of a post millennial pre tribulationist evangelical church in Beaufort Street Mt Lawley, a suburb of Perth were pwned by some pranksters of a proactive Perth sceptic society based in Mt Lawley. The evangelical church had been converted from a former brothel after cleaning and destaining before a dedication of the building to the Lord Jesus Christ.
The post mill pre trib church elders had prophesied the end of the world at exactly 11.00 am last Tuesday with a rapture. All the church members had taken the day off work or school to pray and worship. Singing and speaking in tongues was clearly audible on Beaufort Street. The group has had serious disagreements with a nearby post millennial post tribulation church in Central Avenue Mt Lawley, almost around the corner. Last year members of the rival evangelical churches ended up exchanging punches over the differences between pre and post tribulation doctrines in a failed attempt at fellowship between the 2 congregations.
The Mt Lawley Sceptic Society took a different strategy to confronting this, the latest in a series of "end of the world" prophesies", none successful, not with logic but with a prank. On the day the sceptics spread out used clothing outside the church on the footpath to make it look like they had been passed over in the rapture. 2 members then waited outside. One, Paul, an extraordinarily tall man, dress in a white angelic outfit with concealed LED lights emitting a white glow. His part was to speak in "tongues". His partner, John, dressed in a white suit as a lessor angel who would "translate" Paul. A van with a very large and very loud speaker blasted out heavenly trumpet sounds. At 11.00 am the "trumpets" sounded drawing the congregation members outside to investigate as the van withdrew to a descrete distance.
The very tall "angel" Paul made a lot of gibberish noises which was "translated" by John as "All who have been saved have been raised up leaving their clothes behind for they shall be dressed by our father in Heaven. Have no hope for yours is a frightening future of God ordained disasters. None of your congregation have been raised." Shaking and violent tears overtook the unlucky congregation instantly. One elder asked the "angels" "So we have to share the tribulation with the post trib church?".
"Grulkes hoeff gyouj wizpo tuster", replied Paul, "translated" by John as "No, for they have been raised" to the profound shock of church members, stunned like mallets. One sceptic told EAP "I sort of felt sorry for the congregation members but at least they may not be door knocking quite as frenquently".
EAP has learnt on the grape vine that several members of the congregation have lost their jobs for not reporting for work and some others have gone into therapy. The disgarded clothes have all been donated to charity.
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Evil Atheist Press
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