Pilots Raise Concern over the Prospect of Angel Strikes, MP Acts

EAP: Following the near miss of an angel strike a few weeks ago in Adelaide which was reported to authorities by 737 pilot Colin Holloway; many pilots around the world have raised concerns about the threat posed to aviation safety of a potential angel strike. Bird strikes have long been a concern for aviation safety but a recent spate of angel sightings by airline pilots passing through controlled flight paths has many pilots worried and some aviation regulation bodies are looking into the problem. While there has never been a reported angel strike with an aircraft, authorities are nonetheless concerned.

Another reported near miss with an angel occurred in Washington DC, an unlikely location for angelic sightings of any sort, as Rick Hopkins and first officer Sally Mills were bringing an A320 airliner into Ronald Reagan Airport. The occasion was of an angel returning after an assignment of setting up a Holy Mother apparition.

Having eminence in a higher domain angels are not subject to air traffic control and do not require air traffic control clearance. This has not stopped one member of parliament, Lyles Clubman from introducing legislation into parliament regulating the flight of angels because they often cross flight paths. Clubman wants to limit angelic flight to a maximum height of 400 feet or 120 metres, the same height consumer hand operated drones, and banned inside of 5 kilometres radius of an airport. Clubman said in a press release "The danger to the travelling public is clear. We can not have unregulated entities flying willy nilly through otherwise controlled air space". His legislation would also limit broom travelling witches to the same flight restrictions. He continued, "We don't want Mildred Hubble mixing it with a jet engine".

However his proposed legislation has raised objections from family centred organisation as this legislation would also effectively ground Santa Claus and produce unemployment for armies of elves. Said Shirley Olds of the Australasian Family Values organisation "While we appreciate the concern for air safety we can not let this dampen the Christmas spirit". She continued, "I like taking my children away on holiday so it's not as if I have no awareness of the need of air safety, as a member of the flying public myself, buts surely a deal can be made between Santa and the Civil Aviation Authority where in flight clearance can be given for what is after all only one night a year."

The Jehovah Witnesses on the other hand are happy that Santa Claus would be grounded. "He was always a Satanic detraction from what should be the REAL focus of our lives and a challenge for JW parents to trying to protect their children from heathen influences", according to spokesman, Russel Charles.
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Evil Atheist Press
June 2019

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