EAP: Child grows devil's tail after priest botches baptism
Child grows devil's tail after priest botch baptism
EAP: Baal City 15 Feb 2022. For Joy Boyce it started as a happy family event when the newest addition to the Boyce family, Phillip Boyce 12 months, was to be baptised by Father Murphy of St Ingrid's parish church. The sacramental service was followed by refreshment and celebrations.
The occasion seemed to go smoothly but just weeks later Phillip started waking up from discomfort. It was discovered that young Phillip was growing a tail with scales and a trident on the end.
"I was alarmed to say the least and I just couldn't explain it" the boy's mother told an EAP reporter.
The mystery was solved when a video recording of the baptism was replayed. The baby was touched with some water and Father Murphy then said "We baptise you in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Ghost". It was at this point in the video that the boy's father, Isaiah, realised that the correct wording should be "I baptise you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost".
"We really can not buy clothes" the mother complained. "We have to alter everything to make room for Phillip's tail. We can not take him out in public for fear of the public's reaction."
The matter came before the diocesan council and the committee convened by the bishop. Father Murphy is likely to be disciplined for using the wrong magic words.
Bishop Pence explained, "It is extremely important that the correct words are used, not the incorrect words. Who knows what harm can be done if sacraments are not properly delivered. Phillip is a case in point. Baptism confers great power by the priest to the congregant receiving the sacrament. It's like homeopathy. If the wrong potion is administered for the particular medical condition great injury can result."
"There are other problems with Phillip's tail, like getting caught everywhere" Joy explained, "and the dog want to pull at it and the cat wants to always play with it".
Surgeons are investigating options for removal of Phillip's tail.
Evil Atheist Press 21 Feb 2022
Comments
Post a Comment