Meteorite Debris

EAP: Oct 12 2022. Six month old Becky Graham has been sued for 100 billion dollars because of a breach of a 1,000,000,000 year contract. It has been determined that Becky was Larry Cole who died 2 years ago, bonded to a contract for a billion years to work for the naval arm of a cult called Lafayettism. It is reported that the late Larry Cole worked 120 hours a week for 50 cents a week and died aged 30 years from stress and overwork.  The suit mentions Xenu as the suing party. When a spokesman, Dave McCribbage, was asked how can they be sure they replied that a new technique has been developed of incorporating an e-metre into a dowsing rod and with this Larry was found to be now Becky Graham. McCribbage stated that since Larry has been reborn as Becky, she has not in 6 months reported for duty as per her contract. "If Becky thought she was going to evade her obligation then she is sadly mistaken. We will chase her to the end of the earth in whatever life he or she is reborn into....

 Child grows devil's tail after priest botch baptism EAP: Baal City 15 Feb 2022. For Joy Boyce it started as a happy family event when the newest addition to the Boyce family, Phillip Boyce 12 months, was to be baptised by Father Murphy of St Ingrid's parish church. The sacramental service was followed by refreshment and celebrations.  The occasion seemed to go smoothly but just weeks later Phillip started waking up from discomfort. It was discovered that young Phillip was growing a tail with scales and a trident on the end. "I was alarmed to say the least and I just couldn't explain it" the boy's mother told an EAP reporter. The mystery was solved when a video recording of the baptism was replayed. The baby was touched with some water and Father Murphy then said "We baptise you in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Ghost". It was at this point in the video that the boy's father, Isaiah, realised that the correct wording should be "I b...

 EAP: Saturday 2 Oct 2021. As the volcano on the Canary Island of La Palma continues to erupt sending plumes and lava out and attracting natural disaster tourists as hundreds of houses and other buildings are consumed including at least one church reports are emerging of a sighting of Jesus surfing down the side of the volcano and making his way to the sea for a refreshing breath of toxic air down at the seaside.  Senora Juanita Lopez told an EAP reporter that at the exact moment that the church tower was being overcome that Jesus was seen to be climbing out of the crater, surfboard in hand. "It's a miracle", she declared. She continued, "He placed the surfboard on a stream of lava followed by his feet and hung 10 all the way down to the sea. He even entered, and emerged from, a lava tunnel. On reaching the sea Jesus yelled out 'I love the smell of hydrochloric acid early in the morning'" Some sceptics like Manuel Perez, known as the island atheist, sugg...

  CHESTER COUNTY, TENNESSEE. EAP Sat: A 47 year old member of the Second Resurrection Talking Serpent Congregation, Mrs Elizabeth Livingston Dumbarton has been charged with acting contrary to God's Will. The church is the largest building in the tiny cross road hamlet of Serpent Cross Road, so called because it is where an early settler Ebenezer Daniel McNaught Livingstone was bitten by a snake just prior to having visions of his mission sent by an angel of God. Livingstone survived and established his settlement and church on the site which happened to be a cross road. Livingston(e)s still live in the area to this day but due to nearly universal illiteracy in the small community the "e" at the end of the name has been accidently dropped. The hamlet's museum which is basically a tiny shed has a an old sign "Serpent Cross Raod". The sign was replaced after Greg Livingston became the community's first member to complete elementary schooling. About 10 years...

 EAP: Washington DC, Following death of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg a close spiritual advisor to the Whitehouse, Gus Cheval, has put forward a name for her replacement on the Supreme  Court, and unusually the name is that of Trump's favourite horse, Mister Brickus. Cheval, an important spiritual advisor to several Republican administrations, told reporters that he sent a message to the Whitehouse to arrange a meeting with the President on a matter of national spiritual importance. Within hours a reply was received and a meeting was scheduled. Cheval said, "With the death of the Supreme Court Justice it is vital to the life of the nation, and to the glory of God, that our God fearing President, appoint a suitable God fearing Justice to the bench. There has never been a more faithful servant than Mister Brickus and his wisdom is well received. I have never heard a cuss word from Mister Brickus and certainly nothing pro abortion pass through his mouth. This is a cri...

 EAP: Black Valley Vic, Aust. To the list of detritus of collateral damage wrecked by the worldwide pandemic of Covid-19 has been added the children's outreach program run by the St Christopher Parish of the Roman Catholic Church. Already hit hard by thinning pew numbers before the pandemic and further hit by the necessary removal of 2 in 3 pews to meet with mandated social distancing regulations the parish clergy now find themselves unable to interact with the young in their outreach program and unable to tend to their pastoral needs. Father Brian Fitzerrol told an EAP reporter, "Social distancing means we can not interact with children in the way clergy traditionally have done. Zoom is not the same spiritual experience. It's has to be a hands on experience in order to win children to Christ. I know a lot about children's ministry because of my experience of being transferred more than 20 times between different parishes in the course of my vocation doing this work fo...