Court Gives Restraining Order to the Virgin Mary

EAP: As a result of recent appearances to members of the public a Sydney court today handed down a restraining against the Virgin Mary. Martha Gibbs was driving on a freeway when the Virgin Mary suddenly appeared in the middle land. Martha was forced to take evasive action resulting in a pile up and many injuries for other drivers and their passengers. Bob Fawkes was driving on a country road when the Virgin Mary suddenly appeared in the passenger. The surprise and fright caused Fawkes to veer off the road and roll his car. Bob and Martha were just 2 people who were part of a class action against the Virgin Mary.

Ray Velts is another petitioner. As an operator of a construction crane he was distracted by a vision of the Virgin Mary at a crucial moment in a lifting operation causing him to do damage to property and crushing the ribs of another construction worker.

The action was brought by people whose lives have been adversely affected by Virgin Mary appearances. Artist Denzil Farley had had countless paintings ruined by the paint rearranging itself into an image of Virgin Mary. "This is not at all the message I want to convey", Denzil said. Home owners Dennis and Debbie Vernon had to fork out money to have an exterior wall of their house re-rendered over after the Virgin Mary left her calling card in the stonework. "We don't think the Virgin Mary should be going around harassing innocent people." 

Judge Agate agreed and ruled in favour of the petitioners and issued a cease and desist order against the holy apparition. "It is not for the Holy Mother to indulge in attention seeking behaviour. In no circumstances can any such narcissistic entitlement to interfere in the daily lives be tolerated just to satisfy the grandiose need of an attention starved entity", the judge ruled.

**
Evil Atheist Press - April 2019

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