Pastor Brentwood wants to reintroduce child sacrifice

EAP: Pastor William Brentwood of the Fire and Brimstone Revelation of the Word Church situated in Victoria Park, Western Australia, an inner suburb or Perth has revealed his latest revelation from God and it has the promise of rolling back many of the woes of the world today. He believes that the failure of the Christian Church to redress many of the evils in this increasingly Satanic world comes down to a reluctance to do child sacrifice. According to the pastor God will deliver upon our prayers on payment of something of the utmost value to us. "What can be more valuable to us than our own DNA in the form of our own children", the pastor asked his congregation. He continued, "the bible gives the example of Abraham giving up Isaac to the LORD as he was commanded, the most valuable procession of Abraham and, as was to become apparent as the angel of the LORD rescinded the command, the future father of the nation of Israel. There is also Jephthah who sacrificed his own very lovely daughter so that the LORD could help him despatch the Ammonites, those vile barbarian heathens, and their vile religious practices and most vile of of their gods unto the waiting clutches of Yahweh to be smashed against the brick wall of history and be utterly ruined, and it was good, glory be".

Last year the pastor received a revelation that animal sacrifice be reintroduced, calling on congregants to offer up their pets into the fire, but only the best, most loved and most perfect specimens. It was not to be an opportunity to euthanase sick old pets. However the pastor was warned off by the local police and the practice was never adopted. Undaunted by the public outcry the pastor has redoubled the stakes and upped the game calling on parents to give up their most perfect offspring. Alas it seems that such child within the congregation will be hard to find. It is understood that nearly every child within the church's flock has been found to have some sort of deformity from ADHD, Aspergers, anxiety, depression; indeed whatever deformity such parents have been able to convince their doctors into signing a medical certificate for. One child, Clive Walkley, has been certified as having only one functioning leg, even after winning several medals at his school's athletic competition. Pastor Brentwood believes that the condition of the world will improve if the LORD's taste for burning flesh can be satiated. "The LORD wants only the best and will punish half hearted devalued offerings, then will he deliver our prayers for a better world", Pastor Brentwood told an EAP reporter. When asked if this practice was legal he replied, "God's law over rides man's law". When asked if it was cruel he replied "The method is a throat slashing such that a significant flow of blood touches one corner of the alter followed by a burning of the flesh, as commanded in the bible as the smell of burning flesh pleases the LORD God. It can NOT be cruel if it is command by the LORD and master of the whole cosmos. It can only be to his glory."

***
Evil Atheist Press
May 2019

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

EAP: Charon the ferryman loses his job in the Underworld

144,000 Jewish Male Virgins Shocked and Horrified at Their Role

Dave Allen recanted on his death bed