Christian Pastor Charged with Animal Cruelty in Schrodinger's Cat experiment
EAP: Ralph Norman a Christian pastor at the Hillside Evangelical Witness Church who is also completing a doctrinal thesis in quantum physics titled "Of Cats and God" has been charged with animal cruelty by the police. In addition he is facing disciplinary charges from his campus at the Port Adelaide University of Technology.
Mr Norman was hoping to combine his physics studies with his Christian faith. To this end he had enrolled in the world renowned respected accredited institution in preference to the Christian college where he had completed his divinity studies. His hypothesis was that the weirdness of quantum physics would be the area where divinity can be imaged. He had expanded the Schrodinger's Cat thought experiment to a third state of cat, no cat and echo of God. His thesis required more than just thought experiments. He needed observations.
It was for this reason that had constructed an apparatus to exactly translate the result of a quantum reality when observed. Said Norman, "If there be a god then a superposition of quantum realities is where that reality can be imaged because a super position represents 'all things are possible' as would with a deity". Norman kept a pen of cats for these experiments as successive cats failed to return from an observed quantum event. The cats were numbered from Schrodinger 1 through to 40 or S1 - S40. Norman continued,"It could be that Heaven and Hell, although not a physical place which can be mapped is a super position reality and that our chances of going to Heaven or to Hell depends on the observation by God in the same way our observations determine the fate of our cats.
The images of the death of Schrodinger 13 was particularly gruesome as photos were leaked on to social media. Especially upset were members of the Witchcraft Practitioners Guild who hold all cats to be sacred to Gaia. The Guild has long been a target of fundamentalist and evangelical churches and the enmity has flowed both ways.
However as word leaked out about the experiments animal rights activists and university authorities alike have been up in arms with pickets and boycotts. Moreover, Norman acted without the approval of the Ethics Committee. The Vice Counsellor, Ms Dana Berry, has reassured an outraged public and the student body that the the utmost probity of ethics will be maintained. It is certain that the studies of Mr Norman will now be terminated as a result of the controversy. It is expected that he will be expelled and precluded from any future enrolment at the university.
In an unexpected turn, Schrodinger 7 now has his own fan club and Facebook group. He proved to have more than 9 lives. She survives to this day and ahs earned the moniker of the "cat who came back" and the "God cat". There is even a temple cult dedicated to the worship of Schrodinger 7.
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Evil Atheist Press - August 2019
Mr Norman was hoping to combine his physics studies with his Christian faith. To this end he had enrolled in the world renowned respected accredited institution in preference to the Christian college where he had completed his divinity studies. His hypothesis was that the weirdness of quantum physics would be the area where divinity can be imaged. He had expanded the Schrodinger's Cat thought experiment to a third state of cat, no cat and echo of God. His thesis required more than just thought experiments. He needed observations.
It was for this reason that had constructed an apparatus to exactly translate the result of a quantum reality when observed. Said Norman, "If there be a god then a superposition of quantum realities is where that reality can be imaged because a super position represents 'all things are possible' as would with a deity". Norman kept a pen of cats for these experiments as successive cats failed to return from an observed quantum event. The cats were numbered from Schrodinger 1 through to 40 or S1 - S40. Norman continued,"It could be that Heaven and Hell, although not a physical place which can be mapped is a super position reality and that our chances of going to Heaven or to Hell depends on the observation by God in the same way our observations determine the fate of our cats.
The images of the death of Schrodinger 13 was particularly gruesome as photos were leaked on to social media. Especially upset were members of the Witchcraft Practitioners Guild who hold all cats to be sacred to Gaia. The Guild has long been a target of fundamentalist and evangelical churches and the enmity has flowed both ways.
However as word leaked out about the experiments animal rights activists and university authorities alike have been up in arms with pickets and boycotts. Moreover, Norman acted without the approval of the Ethics Committee. The Vice Counsellor, Ms Dana Berry, has reassured an outraged public and the student body that the the utmost probity of ethics will be maintained. It is certain that the studies of Mr Norman will now be terminated as a result of the controversy. It is expected that he will be expelled and precluded from any future enrolment at the university.
In an unexpected turn, Schrodinger 7 now has his own fan club and Facebook group. He proved to have more than 9 lives. She survives to this day and ahs earned the moniker of the "cat who came back" and the "God cat". There is even a temple cult dedicated to the worship of Schrodinger 7.
***
Evil Atheist Press - August 2019
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