God Throws Stones and Splinters at Members of the St Xavier's Congregation

EAP: Father Francis is a priest at Saint Xavier's Parish Church in Great Falls Creek, Queensland and he is well liked by his congregation. However it had come to the notice of the diocesan bishop that some comments he made about abortion and euthanasia on a local radio spot did not completely condemn the practices. What had particularly got under Bishop Fullum's clerical collar was an attempted joke "Well we hope they do not progress from practicing to a live full command performance". In a harshly worded rebuke which some have called a fatwah the bishop warned, "...that God may well make known his displeasure at Father Francis laughing outside the death camps to both Father Francis and his congregation."

 Now it seems that God is now acting on Bishop Fullum's words. The aging church with its dwindling congregation base and declining revenue stream its aging congregants has long been in need of repair but increasingly paint flakes, chips of stone and splinters of timbers have been raining down on the congregation. The situation has become so bad that members of the congregation, Father Francis and the alter boys all now wear hard hats during Sunday Mass. The sight is a conflict between older people dressed up in their Sunday best with fine hair styles domed with hard hats. "God is throwing rocks at us" Father Francis told an EAP correspondent.

Members of the tight knit congregation told EAP that they are adjusting to the alteration in God's blessings. Said Maud, "Of course my hard hat is more stylish than those worn by the others, especially Beverly who is always lording it over the church committee and lets everyone know in no uncertain terms that she is the Chair Woman of the community and much else besides, but her hard hat doesn't compare to mine."

Norman told the EAP that a chunk of plaster had taken off a bandage protecting a recent skin cancer removal. He said, "I had to go back to the doc to get the wound cleaned out but I needed to return anyway to remove the basal cell carcinoma off my left ear. We all just continue singing praises to the lord as he throws rocks at us. We have a sense of humour about it."

The church committee is now running cake stores to pay for long overdue repairs. Maud and Beverley were interrupting each other one upping each other outlining fund raising efforts. For the duration of repairs, should funds be raised, the congregation will hold mass in the church hall, while the church is repaired. The hall was mainly used for Sunday School but few children come to the Sunday School.

***
Evil Atheist Press - August 2019

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