Joe Biden magically disappears

Joe Biden magically disappears

EAP: Thanatos Falls, Arizona. Pastor Robert Vie has enthused his congregation with news of a modern miracle here in 21st century America, the land of the brave and the free. It seems that presidential hopeful has disappeared without a trace. "God has taken up brother Joe into his bosom as he took up Elijah and Elisha, by plucking him up from real life and elevating him up to his father who art in heaven", Robert told his flock.

One member of the flock told reporters, "It's good to see God moving in mysterious ways. We don't know quite why God requires Joe's presence at this time. It must be his mammoth brains trust that  God requires of Joe at this time". Another flock member said, "At this time of emergency of something like the 1918 Spanish Flu and the Great Depression all rolled into one, it is good to see that Joe Biden is out of the way and not bringing any influence which could bare on God's plans for humanity. The leadership shown by Joe Biden in engaging in these issues has been quite overwhelming. Clearly God does not want Joe exuding the confidence and competence of potential alternative Commander in Chief to the  nation very much in need at the moment."

EAP contacted Joe's nursing home, the Thanatos Falls Aged Care Facility, who confirmed that Joe has indeed been missing in action. The last any of the staff saw of Joe was when making some tweet on his tablet and that was the last engagement with the world which anyone can recall.

Because authorities can not ascertain the whereabouts of Joe Biden Pastor Robert Vie has concluded that Joe has indeed been lifted up for reasons known only to God, although we may speculate upon those reasons. The pastor said, "The mysterious ways God has manifested himself through Joe is a mirror of the mysterious ways of God. Because we can not make sense or reason of God's actions only means that God does move in mysterious ways and this gives us all much needed faith."

Evil Atheist Press March 2020.

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