Meteorite Debris

 EAP: Black Valley Vic, Aust. To the list of detritus of collateral damage wrecked by the worldwide pandemic of Covid-19 has been added the children's outreach program run by the St Christopher Parish of the Roman Catholic Church. Already hit hard by thinning pew numbers before the pandemic and further hit by the necessary removal of 2 in 3 pews to meet with mandated social distancing regulations the parish clergy now find themselves unable to interact with the young in their outreach program and unable to tend to their pastoral needs. Father Brian Fitzerrol told an EAP reporter, "Social distancing means we can not interact with children in the way clergy traditionally have done. Zoom is not the same spiritual experience. It's has to be a hands on experience in order to win children to Christ. I know a lot about children's ministry because of my experience of being transferred more than 20 times between different parishes in the course of my vocation doing this work fo...

Joe Biden magically disappears EAP: Thanatos Falls, Arizona. Pastor Robert Vie has enthused his congregation with news of a modern miracle here in 21st century America, the land of the brave and the free. It seems that presidential hopeful has disappeared without a trace. "God has taken up brother Joe into his bosom as he took up Elijah and Elisha, by plucking him up from real life and elevating him up to his father who art in heaven", Robert told his flock. One member of the flock told reporters, "It's good to see God moving in mysterious ways. We don't know quite why God requires Joe's presence at this time. It must be his mammoth brains trust that  God requires of Joe at this time". Another flock member said, "At this time of emergency of something like the 1918 Spanish Flu and the Great Depression all rolled into one, it is good to see that Joe Biden is out of the way and not bringing any influence which could bare on God's plans for hum...

EAP: Ralph Norman a Christian pastor at the Hillside Evangelical Witness Church who is also completing a doctrinal thesis in quantum physics titled " Of Cats and God " has been charged with animal cruelty by the police. In addition he is facing disciplinary charges from his campus at the Port Adelaide University of Technology. Mr Norman was hoping to combine his physics studies with his Christian faith. To this end he had enrolled in the world renowned respected accredited institution in preference to the Christian college where he had completed his divinity studies. His hypothesis was that the weirdness of quantum physics would be the area where divinity can be imaged. He had expanded the Schrodinger's Cat thought experiment to a third state of cat, no cat and echo of God. His thesis required more than just thought experiments. He needed observations. It was for this reason that had constructed an apparatus to exactly translate the result of a quantum reality when ob...