Meteorite Debris

Joe Biden magically disappears EAP: Thanatos Falls, Arizona. Pastor Robert Vie has enthused his congregation with news of a modern miracle here in 21st century America, the land of the brave and the free. It seems that presidential hopeful has disappeared without a trace. "God has taken up brother Joe into his bosom as he took up Elijah and Elisha, by plucking him up from real life and elevating him up to his father who art in heaven", Robert told his flock. One member of the flock told reporters, "It's good to see God moving in mysterious ways. We don't know quite why God requires Joe's presence at this time. It must be his mammoth brains trust that  God requires of Joe at this time". Another flock member said, "At this time of emergency of something like the 1918 Spanish Flu and the Great Depression all rolled into one, it is good to see that Joe Biden is out of the way and not bringing any influence which could bare on God's plans for hum...

EAP: Southville South Australia. Father Decca Smith of the Southville St Mary's Anglican Church believes that God is revealing himself through the Covid-19 coronavirus and by so doing is teaching his flock all about logarithm and to show us how exponential growth works in concrete ways. He has seized the opportunity afforded by the public health emergency to teach both maths and God's love in the local parish school where he teaches. He came to this conclusion after a parent asked him "What sort of a god would send coronavirus on to good people?" Puzzled and troubled by this question Father Decca prayed all day for answers. He told EAP that the answer came to him late in an evening. He said, "With the blessing of the good lord I realised that the most important we can do for our children is education, but much of what children learn is disconnected from the real world. Maths is one such area in which it is hard for some children to grasp in a concrete way. It...

EAP: Detroit City Saturday. As a result of Democratic candidate Joe Biden renaming God or "the creator" to "the thing" life time devotee and firm believer in a god, Dicky McGeezacs, has taken it upon himself to inform the nation of the change in name of the Christian god. The god was Formerly known in various incarnations as El, Elohim, Jehovah as well as "the creator" among others. Hopeful Presidential candidate, Joe Biden, inadvertently found himself doing the thing's work by announcing the creator's new name as  "the thing" when quoting, and altering, the Declaration of Independence to "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by, you know, 'the thing'". It is speculated that half of of Joe's awareness and consciousness is already on the other side, and with what remains to soon follow. Dicky McGeezacs told EAP that he thought this was an excellent idea and...

EAP: Father Francis is a priest at Saint Xavier's Parish Church in Great Falls Creek, Queensland and he is well liked by his congregation. However it had come to the notice of the diocesan bishop that some comments he made about abortion and euthanasia on a local radio spot did not completely condemn the practices. What had particularly got under Bishop Fullum's clerical collar was an attempted joke "Well we hope they do not progress from practicing to a live full command performance". In a harshly worded rebuke which some have called a fatwah the bishop warned, "...that God may well make known his displeasure at Father Francis laughing outside the death camps to both Father Francis and his congregation."  Now it seems that God is now acting on Bishop Fullum's words. The aging church with its dwindling congregation base and declining revenue stream its aging congregants has long been in need of repair but increasingly paint flakes, chips of stone and s...

EAP: Like many Year 12 students Mal Edwards attending Canterbury High was taking exams as part of the Higher School Certificate. However the Department of Education has a strict policy against cheating or receiving assistance during the exam. It was during his geology exam that the supervising teacher watching over the exam session, Janice Newman, noticed that Edwards was praying just after the start asking God to help him. Ms Newman asked Edwards to hand in his paper immediately and to leave the exam hall. Ms Newman said, "If a student was found to be copying from a text book or googling during the exam I would have taken the same action. No student is allowed to receive an unfair advantage from outside sources. Exams are testing the student on his or her own merits. Clearly Mal has a friend in Jesus and was using that friendship for improper purposes. This puts students who are atheists or who worship less powerful gods at a distinct disadvantage." For his part Edwards ...

EAP: Arjun Bhat was an accountant who decided to marry his profession with his Hindu faith and propel his career to stratospheric levels. As the only son of Indian immigrants to Sydney Australia he had seen relatives and friends soar to social heights beyond himself. He did not have 3 rental houses, 2 luxury European cars and a weekend house in the Blue Mountain like his cousin Sai and he had to refuse an offer to enter into a joint investment venture by another cousin, Aditya, for lack of sufficient capital. To this end Arjun looked to a new business opportunity inspired by his own job of keeping balances. He realised that Karma was an accounting system. Pluses and minuses on a ledger all accounted for the karma someone carried into their next lives. Arjun realised that many sub-continent business people were caught between a desire for this life to be reflected in their next life in a positive and doing well in this life as one conflicted with the other with prospering n this life ...

EAP: In the aftermath of the closing down of a cruel Schrodinger Cat experiment which was conducted by the now disgraced Ralph Norman, a doctrinal student, one of the rescued cats, known by the experimenters as Schrodinger 7 or S7 and variously as "Lucky Cat", the "God Cat" or "9 Lives Pussy" by members of the public because she had survived so many experiments in the Schrodinger Apparatus now sits upon a comfortable hand embroided cushion on platform as the centre piece of the recently consecrated temple to her honour. The Schrodinger Apparatus is now on show in the Adelaide Museum of the Macabre. A sect known as the Adelaide New Age Aquarians organised to adopt Schrodinger 7 as their own believing that to have survived so many quantum events means she is a very old and extremely reincarnated soul and that in caring and revering her people can earn karma credits of their own. The temple is situated in an abandoned church in the suburb of Glenelg. Ms Daw...